Why are we focusing on gaining confidence for ourselves and our husbands?

Men with confidence are more successful, they look better in their appearance, are physically healthier, they are happier with their lives, less anxious, enjoy taking leadership positions, they are more productive, they can see God as good, loving and forgiving, they have higher moral standards, they have better relationships, they are more helpful to those in need and find their life satisfying. This is why we're taking the time to talk about your husband’s confidence. 

Psalm 108:1 - I have complete confidence, O God.

Help Your Husband Gain Confidence In 12 Ways: 



1. Identify and schedule a hobby that he enjoys 3-4 times a week for 35-40 minutes. Find a place to relax in your busy schedule and quietly build your confidence.

(Jesus) … said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." - Mark 6:31

2. Find an exercise routine he loves. Exercise until you are sweating 3 days per week for 45 minutes. Exercise will alleviate stress and pain that will leave him super strong, courageous, and confident.

The military understands this principle to build strong and confident men - they do it with exercise. 

1 Corinthians 9:27 - I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should.

3. Encourage him to do his best with his strengths. Remember to never give excessive attention to his weaknesses. (Don’t try to control him). Help him to discover who God made him to be. Help him work to develop his strengths.

My husband and I made a list of his strengths and a plan to develop them.

Galatians 6:4 - Let everyone be sure that he is doing his very best for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work well done and won't need to compare himself with someone else." 

4. Make time to spend with Jesus. He gains confidence by spending time in the presence of Jesus. God’s presence will dislodge feelings that create: self-doubt, unworthiness, inferiority to others, indifference, loss of enjoyment, anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges.

Acts 4:13 - When the Council saw the boldness  (confidence) of Peter and John and could see they were ordinary men, they were amazed and realized what being with Jesus had done for them.

The Lord is his source of confidence! Not his job, money, education, or his looks. Time with Jesus is praying, reading the word, and engaging in the church which will grow all of our confidence.

5. Practice love. Love Jesus, love yourself, and love your husband. Really love yourself and accept yourself because God loves you and created you. We are created in His image, valued and significant. Confidence is understanding Jesus has made you worthy despite your imperfections. Give your man the feeling of being complete by loving him just as he is now.

Ephesians 1:6 - (God) has made us accepted in the Beloved.

Confidence means that even when you don’t like things about yourself or your husband, you still love your whole self and him entirely.

6. Show Jesus, you are thankful. Show gratitude to your husband. Start each day praising God and saying why you are thankful for your husband. Say thank you all day long. Think thoughts of appreciation.

I am thankful my husband is a Christian, he loves our kids, he works hard, he cares about me, he keeps us safe, he kills bugs, he takes out the garbage, he laughs at my jokes, he likes my cooking and he is willing to watch romantic movies with me.

1 Thessalonians 5:16 - Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

7. Plan It, weekly to hang out with positive, happy, and compassionate people. Who will build your confidence, show you respect, and will lead you to positive feelings about yourself?  Confidence is highly influenced by relationships.  That’s why you need to be in a church small group where Christians build you up year after year.  In a church small group, your husband is able to talk about his feelings and thoughts with trusted friends this opens the frontal lobe of his brain where he is able to ascertain wisdom, understanding, and confidence. Confident people choose the right friends. 

Jude 1:20 - Dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit.

8. Be happy. Decide to create an atmosphere of joy in your home. Happiness creates self-confidence. Develop the ability to make your husband happy. Study the things that make him happy and try to implement them.

Some of the things that make my husband happy is an old western movie and a bowl of popcorn, a facetime call from the grandkids, or steak cooked just right.  I have the power to create happy moments for my husband and so do you.

Ephesians 2:10 - We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do. Confident people choose to be happy, smile, and laugh.

9. Take time to heal. Take time together to talk and heal from rejection which destroys his self-worth. They say rejection is the number one cause of lack of confidence and low self-worth. Plan 2-3 hours alone with your husband to share heart to heart and heal from rejection. Start the conversation by asking him to share a time in his life where he felt rejection, from parents, peers, or from you.  These wounds are very painful and shatter his confidence. Take 3 steps to heal: 

1. Allow him to share his story without judgment. 

2. Pray together forgiving that person who rejected you. (Take a minute if it helps to walk in the person who rejected shoes: why did they do this to me? Hurt and rejected people hurt and reject people). Realize we all are imperfect, everyone has experienced a painful rejection -it’s part of life. 

3. Ask Jesus when he felt rejection and how he overcame it? Read the word and speak the word over your life.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 - Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and has made the Lord his hope and confidence.  He is like a tree planted along a riverbank with roots reaching deep into the water, not bothered by the heat, nor worried by long months of drought it stays green and goes on producing fruit.

10. Invest your life in Him.  God is always giving and he wants us to give.  Confident Christians understand our main purpose here on earth is to help others.

Isaiah 61:1 - (Jesus came to earth) to seek and save the lost, to heal the brokenhearted and announce freedom.

His purpose has now become our purpose.  We are to be others-centered. God-centeredness leads to confidence. Investing in others leads to great purpose and confidence. Here are 3 ways to invest in your husband and affirm his value:

1- Appreciation.  Appreciation means you raise his value. Every time you appreciate him you raise his value. 
I'm making my husband more and more valuable every day I am appreciating him. 

2 Thessalonians 2:17 - May our Lord Jesus Christ...inspire you with courage and confidence in every good thing you say or do.

2- Attention.  You raise confidence in the way you look at him. Have a secret gesture that makes your husband smile and feel like he can take on the world. A secret gesture could be a wink, blowing him a kiss, touching toes, a thumbs up, looking him in the eyes with a smile or laughing giving him your full attention.  Become the expert at gestures that say:  "I believe in you.”  “ I think you can do it."  “I value you."

Hebrews 3:13 - Encourage one another daily.

3- Affection.  Be extravagant in showing affection to your husband raise his self-worth.  There are so many ways to be extremely affectionate; say…I love you, tickle them, hug them, kiss them, scruff them, play with them, and touch them.  Let them feel your affection on their skin.

Romans 5:8 - God has shown us how much he loves us. 

Ladies, I love you. God loves you. There are 14 verses here that I encourage you to study in your devotional time this week. Ask God to use these points and verses to reveal something in you and in your marriage so that you can live a confident life. Which ones are you practicing this week? Let us support you by commenting below with which step you’re working on. We will help lift you up. We’re believing with you.

There are 2 more steps coming to you next week. <3