The Confidence Test
12 Ways To Build Your Husband’s Confidence
This is number eleven of the 12 steps to build confidence… catchup by reading 1-10 on past blogs. (If you are single keep reading because you can change your heart towards your future person).
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Quiz Yourself: Are You Hurting Your Husband’s Confidence?
Rate yourself on a scale on how are you doing on bringing out the best or the worst in your husband.
Do I make my husband feel like he is not enough?
Prov. 31:12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
Check your heart now by asking yourself these questions: Have I made my husband feel like he is not enough? Have I said that the house is not big enough? Have I said that our romance is not enough? Have I said that his spiritual life is not enough? Have I said that our sex life is not enough? Have I said his job is not enough? Have I said your fathering skills are not enough?
Rate Yourself
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Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always
Do I make him feel inadequate?
Jude 1:20 But you, dear friends, must build each other up
Ask yourself: Have I said that he is not worthy of my love, acceptance, and respect unless he can outperform others by being rich, handsome, or powerful? Your husband has three enemies constantly fighting him (the devil, the world and his old nature) making him feel worthless, beating him up, and telling him his life is valueless. Am I putting the loser label on my husband?
Rate Yourself
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Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always
Do I compare what I have with others?
2 Cor 10:12 For we dare not value or compare ourselves against those who flaunt themselves, for those among them who compare themselves are not wise.
Are you always comparing your finances and belongings with the neighbors? Do you say that, “I wish we had that car, their yard, a pool, a better house, new furniture or made more money.” You make your husband feel inadequate when you compare him or what you own. Do you often make him feel he does not produce enough or fast enough to keep you happy? Maybe you think he is not smart like you or even smart like the men you work with. Yes, we have branded our husbands not enough when we compare them or what we have to others.
Rate Yourself
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Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always
Am I generally discontent with him?
Heb 13:4 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.
I remember a woman who always joked about her husband being “good for nothing.” When she did this I could see the hurt in his eyes. He was trying to do his best to please her, the kids, and his boss. Nothing he did was right or good enough. Let me ask you: Is your husband good enough? God made every man different. Each man has different strengths and weaknesses. Have you accepted his strengths and his weaknesses?
Rate Yourself
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Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always
Do I put down his talents, abilities and giftings?
Rom 12:6 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.
Your husband has giftings, talents, and abilities to do what God has designed and purpose for him to do. He does not have gifts to do what God has designed others to do. Do you admire his talents and giftings? Some men are gifted by God to make money, some men make us laugh and make life fun, some are good looking and muscular, some are tall and star athletes, some play video games well and are tech geniuses. May we value who God has made our husband to be and understand who they are not to be.
Rate Yourself
|_____________________________|
Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always
Is my husband struggling with self-doubt?
1 Sam 17:7 Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
If your husband is struggling with insecurity, indifference or anxiety – maybe you should ask why? Did his father speak negative words to him that demoralize his manhood and abilities? Do you, as his wife, and best friend make him feel like he can’t measure up to the neighbors? Are the kids constantly asking for more and not satisfied with what they have? Do you put your husband down in front of others or behind his back?
Rate Yourself
|_____________________________|
Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always
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Who is telling us all these negative things? Like you’re husband is not a success unless he is the best-looking guy, unless we have the largest home, own multiply companies, or have attended the best colleges. Are you allowing life to chip away bit by bit his self-worth? Most Christian women don’t plan on becoming a wife who degrades their husbands. It just sort of happens because no one tells us differently. I made so many mistakes, that is why I want to share with you four things I have learned. I believe God is saying it is time for us to stop trying to win the status game. It is time for us to build his confidence and make him feel he is enough.
4 Ways To Make Him Feel He Is Enough
John 15:5 For apart from me you can do nothing.
Ask Jesus to forgive you for not valuing your husband and making him feel like he is not enough. I asked Jesus to show me every time I say something that makes my husband feel belittled. I apologized to my husband, I asked him to help me with this area and correct me every time I said something demeaning. I asked my husband to know this is not my heart to crush his self-worth, it is just my ignorance and would he help coach me every time I got it wrong?
Ask God how you can change your heart and attitude towards your husband to build his confidence not demoralize him. God said... start every day by thanking God for your husband and the good things about him. Thank you that my husband is a Christian, thank you that he loves me and the kids, thank you he comes home every night, thank you he eats my cooking and sings to me…
Make a list of all your husband’s strengths and weaknesses. Accept who he is and who he is not. Realize forever this is the perfect man for you, he is a gift from God. He is perfect for what you and your family need. God didn’t let him lack anything when he married you.
Write down four ways you will show your husband you value, love, accept, admire, and appreciate him. Ask the Holy Spirit for some ideas how to show your husband he is enough. The Holy Spirit always knows the best way for you to build your man’s confidence. You can ask your husband too.
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Start working on this today.. Believing with you. Your husband is enough. I would love to hear how you make your husband feel like enough or share with us what your mother did to show this to your dad?
Grateful to be a part of your life,
Tami